Ministry burn out

Confessions of a Campus Pastor series

This post might hurt.

I read this from Wayne Cordeiro and instantly related:

“For over thirty years my drive for excellence propelled me. It wasn’t that I was compulsive; I simply had a deep desire to do my best. I drove hard on all cylinders, not realizing that being an entrepreneur means that everything you initiate, by default you must add to your maintenance list…

…Slowly, the unwelcome symptoms began to surface. Ministry because more arduous. My daily tasks seemed unending, and e-mails began to stack up. People I deeply cared about became problems to be avoided, and deliberating about new vision no longer stirred my soul.

Although I never doubted my calling and gifting, what began as a joy that filled me now became a load that drained me. But I didn’t know where I could trim. People were coming to Christ and lives were being changed. How could all this be wrong?

Decisions — even small ones — seemed to paralyze me. Gradually my creativity began to flag and I found it easier to imitate rather than innovate. I was backing away from the very things that used to challenge and invigorate me.”

There have been seasons of ministry that have been tough, really tough.  There are projects and initiatives I have undertaken that completely drained me and pushed me close to burn out.

I take full responsibility for the effect those times had on me and my family but I recognize now that I did not guard my own time well because I was looking for someone else to say, “Why don’t you take a break.”  But that never really came.  And I understand why now.  For a long time I thought that if I just served with all my heart no matter what the cost to my family or me personally, someone would recognize that and reward me.  It has occurred to me that I was looking to the wrong people for affirmation and recognition.

This is not just a ministry issue.  I was talking to a friend in a completely different line of work and he said he has wrestled with this same thing.  He thought if he gave his all to his work, not worrying about tracking lost vacation days, sacrificing time with family that his employer would recognize that and reward him.  But it never came.

That’s because only ONE person will care about YOU and YOUR family more than YOU and it’s not your boss…it’s God.

Only my Father in Heaven cares about my family more than I do.  Only my Father in Heaven cares about my personal state even more than I do.  And He has given me responsibility to guard my time and give my best to my family AND only look to HIM for that affirmation.

If you are in ministry and looking for a good resource on burn out, I’d suggest Anne Jackson‘s Mad Church Disease.  Just loaned my copy to a friend last night who has experienced some of this.

If you are not in ministry, can I suggest you love your pastor(s) and treat them well.  Yes, there are many stories of nutjobs who screw up their lives and church’s, but there are many, many men and women in the trenches of church ministry serving their heart out for the kingdom.

 

The 3 questions of Dave Gibbons

I recently read The Monkey and the Fish by Dave Gibbons. In it he talked about 3 questions that have been a filter for deciding direction for him personally and for the church he leads. They are:

1.  Who is my neighbor?

2. What’s my pain?

3. What is in my hand?

Who is my neighbor? is a question related to Luke 10:25-37.  Through this parable Jesus teaches that our “neighbor” are those who are around us but very different than us.

What’s my pain? is a question about personal brokenness and passion.  What are you most passionate about?  What pain in your past has been a catalyst for passion?

What is in my hand? is a question about the gifts, skill and interests God has given you.  It’s about using what God has given you to work towards His mission.

These may be 3 of the most powerful questions I’ve ever considered.

What do you think?

 

“Remember the poor”

There is a discussion around Suncrest that is reflected in the greater church world about the place for compassion and justice issues as a ministry.  Some of the biggest questions surround the issue of purpose:

• Do we meet needs in order to share the Gospel?
• Do we meet needs just to meet needs?
• If we meet needs without every sharing the Gospel, did we fail?

The questions probably go on and on and I certainly won’t answer them here.  But I was struck today in reading Galatians 2:8-10:

For God, who was at work in the ministry of Peter as an apostle to the Jews, was also at work in my ministry as an apostle to the Gentiles. 9 James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews.

10 All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

What caught my attention is the encouragement to remember the poor regardless of the “target” of the ministry.  Paul was taking the Gospel to the Gentiles.  Peter targeted the Jews.  Yet both were to remember the poor.

This is a tough issue for me as I did not grow up being taught that social action ministries had importance in the church.  Yet it is clear from Scripture that they should.

I like how this article shines light on the issue providing a framework in which to view the interplay between social action and proclamation.  While I am not settled on the author’s conclusion, I do like the direction.

“The relationship of word and deed in ministry has varied over time. The results have been varied. Evangelism or social action has presented a truncated gospel. Evangelism as primary and social action as secondary has not measurably affected societal ills. Social action as primary has seen evangelism’s decline in the face of so many pressing needs. But evangelism as ultimate-that is, ministry has not been completed unless evangelism has taken place-provides the balance we seek.”

And to that I ask, isn’t the opposite true?  Is evangelism really done unless we have completed the task of social action where their is need?  If we have proclaimed but not met the need that is present, have we really been faithful to the Gospel?

 

Conference hang-over

I always experience this “hango-over” from attending a conference.  The Sticky Church Conference was a bit different because it was at Suncrest and I had a few other things to do as well.

One thing I try to do is narrow down a list of take-aways.  That way I can at least point to a few specific things in which a conference helped me in.  I am not sure this is my final list, but it is a start:

(In no particular order.)

• The best date night is group. If you can only pay for baby sitting one night, make it go to group. The best mom and dad you can be is to be the best husband and wife. And your kids don’t need a mom and dad who’ve seen the latest movie.
• We don’t need a Christian version of community agencies we can partner with them to help instead of reinvent (Osborne).
• Going multi-site pushes the gas pedal of a church decentralizing.
• (Reminder) Smaller venues in a multi-site church create the “small church” feel that many people are looking for (Scott Chapman).  This reminded me of the Rick Warren-ism, “The only person that likes a big church is the pastor.”
• The stickiest thing you have in your church is close and tight relationships (Osborne).
• Everything Northcoast does is aimed at Christians but it is always done in a way that a seeker can understand (Osborne).
• Visitor retention – assimilation; Long-term retention – discipleship
• We get what we measure and celebrate. Retention seldom makes the list (Osborne).
• At Northcoast they try to velcro people to the Bible and a community

 

A successful church

I recently read in a church’s newsletter the statement that God wanted them to be a successful church.  I seriously doubt anyone at first glance would take issue with that statement, but the more I pondered it, the more I disliked the statement.  Before this begins sounding judgmental you should know that I would have prayed that very statement at one point in my life.  But something over the last several years has changed in my thinking.

I’m not sure what WE mean by successful is really what God means by successful.  In the church world, what is typically meant by successful is butts in the seats and money in the offering.  These are two easily quantifiable metrics.  The assumption is made that if you grow in numbers then you are being successful.  That is certainly not always the case.  You could just have the best show in town on Sunday morning.

Now I think numbers are important.  The book of Acts record more than once how many people assembled or how many people were saved.  So numbers are important, they are just not everything.  They never tell the whole story.

I remember a comment made during a “revival” at a church I served.  A revival is an old church term to describe having church services for 3 or more nights in a row to reach out to those who are not saved.  “Revival” became the fashionable name for this outreach event even though “revival” was originally a description of the Holy Spirit’s movement and not the name of an event.  Anyway, one of the leaders in looking at the attendance that day said, “If we are not careful, we are going to be a big church.”

He ws bragging about the attendance that day and missed the point.  In attendance was a lot of people from the church and a lot of people form other churches but NO ONE new and NO ONE who was not already a Christian.  He would have said that “revival” was a success when in reality it was a horrible failure for its purpose.

So does God want us to be a successful church?  Well of course He wants us to succeed at HIS mission.  But HIS mission is not getting people into a building.  His mission is making disciples, however that needs to happen.  And sometimes we can gauge our success with numbers, but they never tell the whole story.

Monday morning rant is now officially over.

 

Helping God across the road like a little old lady

“Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady.” – U2 in “Stand up Comedy”

I love that line in the song because that is what we try to do with God way, way too much.  We think God needs our help.  We are SO sure of something that we over rationalize our reasons, in effect trying to help God out.

Sometimes we act like we even know God’s business more than He does.

We want to do a good work for God instead of joining God where He is working.  We can forget that God is always at work.

“My Father is still working, and I also am working.” – John 5:17

Our job is not to make something happen, but to look for where God is already working.  I like what Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost have said:

“Those who are taken captive by Jesus see mission not merely as a practice preferred by God but as an aspect of his very character. He is mission (ReJesus).”

A classic way of talking about the missio Dei is to say the “mission of God” but it is also just as correct to say the “God of mission.”  Central to who God is, is mission.

God does not NEED our help.  But He does ask us to join Him where He is working to accomplish His mission.

 

Sticky Church Conference

“The greatest challenge facing most churches today isn’t getting people through the front door-it’s keeping them from leaving through the back door,” says Larry Osborne in his book Sticky Church.

The Sticky Church conference is all about becoming the church no one wants to leave.  Suncrest is honored to be able to host the conference on March 31st.

Register today by going to www.stickychurch.com.  We are able to offer a super low rate to all Suncrest attenders.  Just email me to grab this special deal and find out more.

 

Andy Stanley on becoming a student

I thought this Andy Stanley podcast was one of the best.  It is on learning to be a student instead of a critic of new ideas.  Strong emphasis on something I think we know instinctively but are afraid to admit:  the best ideas for church tomorrow don’t come from those doing it now, they come from the next generation.  Being a young man of 35 who turns 36 next month (ouch) I recognize I’m not in the aforementioned category anymore.  So the question I have to ask myself is:  Who am I listening to?

Here’s a few random takeways from the podcast:

• The best ideas for tomorrow don’t come from our generation but the next generation;
• Whatever we are saying is “dumb” and has no ministry value but is being utilized by the younger generation is the NEXT thing that WILL BE used for ministry;
• It’s okay to fail, celebrate failures.

You can subscribe to the podcast in iTunes but here is the most recent podcast on the subject of becoming a student.

 

Timebridge – the best thing since sliced bread

Timebridge has changed my life!  About 8 months ago I ran across Timebridge over at www.pastorhacks.com and have been so thankful since.  I’m sure like me, you struggle with the challenge of scheduling meetings with a team of people.  You send out an email saying you would like to get together and suggest some times.  Then the string of emails start.  Back and forth between everyone until you can settle on a time when everyone can agree.

With Timebridge that is no more!  With this simple and free web application you send an email through their application with the best times for you.  The recipients select times that will work for them and then Timebridge automatically confirms a time that will work for all.  Then the day before the meeting it sends out a reminder.  Beautiful!

It even integrates with Outlook so it is not an annoying separate tool you have to keep track of.  For inner office scheduling we use Outlook but that doesn’t work well for those who do not use Outlook.

I’ve used it now for 8 months and it has worked wonderfully scheduling meetings for Suncrest-East leaders, pre-marital coaching sessions, lunch or coffee appointments and literally everything else I have needed to schedule a meeting for.  I suggested its use to Bobby who started using it and then he suggested it to Greg so it is definitely getting used around our office.

I know I sound like a commercial here but I can’t say enough good about this tool.

 

Andy Stanley’s Leadership Podcast

I think the most helpful leadership podcast I have listened to is Andy Stanley’s Leadership Podcast.  The format is simple:  A short excerpt from a talk Andy has given somehwere and then a follow up interview to help digest what he just said.

It’s great because you get the practical leadership lesson explained and described and then you get it again with more examples.

Check it out on Itunes.  Just search for Andy Leadership Podcast.