Confessions of a Campus Pastor series
I have always envied those who seemingly live their lives without concern of what others think. Because I care way too much about what people think.
I have let this concern influence many decisions in my life, probably too many.
It feels like handcuffs at times because I want to find out what others think before I even express my opinion.
Yet, God has worked in this area of my life as well. He continues to teach me that ultimately the only thing that matters is what He SAYS about me. It’s a matter of faith really to trust Him in this.
I remember reading in Wild at Heart that some men who struggle with this need to say NO more often and let others feel the full weight of who you are. This inspired me to be more upfront, more candid and concern myself less with what others might think.
This “problem” of mine is magnified because I’m a pastor. “Life in the fish bowl” means that more people are watching and more people have an opinion. It has been a journey for me to work forward on this matter but God has been faithful to remind me of what matters most each day.
Here is my theme verse for this particular issue. I read it often:
We speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed-God is our witness.
We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else.
1 Thessalonians 2:4-6
January 22, 2009 at 2:12 pm
The past two blogs you’ve written have left me jaw-dropped. Seriously,dude. I have always thought, from the day I met you and Sheila, that you were a person who is very comfortable in his own skin and with who you are in God. I read these words and I am sitting here thinking…who is he talking about? Surely not himself…
Thank you for being vulnerable out here in blogdom and thank you being transparent. I will be praying for you, Doug, knowing God has already answered it!
You are the best!!!
January 24, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Thanks Kay, I only write this stuff in hopes that someone can relate and move forward as well. In the Christian community there is this huge problem of wanting to be perceived as having it all together, especially among pastors. That doesn’t help anyone in my opinion.
February 7, 2009 at 5:17 am
Great post, man. Look forward to more in this series.